A Beautiful Day to Fly

11.00am, 22 February 2010: Today was a beautiful day to fly. I didn't have my camera with me, but I'm happy to share this mental picture.

Clear blue skies, oceans blue, a very sunny day and puffs of pure white clouds below. On such a day I flew and enjoyed the wonder of flight. I'd forgotten. Thought I was hopping on and off a flying bus for the last 10 years. Looking into the horizon, a private jet darts across. Looking hard to find the line that separates the heavens and earth, I find none. The horizon lost to colours blue, white and lilac grey. Can it be this indescribable colour I see, is ultravoilet as blue trails into seamless horizon? LOL. My mind is in a mood to play tricks on me.

In places, it looked like God's hand glided over the clouds to smooth out it's puffs of whiteness pure. Just like a hand over water would. Up the eastern shores of peninsula Malaysia toward the gulf of Siam, I have a clear view of the beaches below. Wow, we've a low cruising altitude for this flight.

I imagine myself driving along this shoreline below. Open convertible. Sun beating my skin to a brown. Casting every care to the wind as I cruise. Hair flying wildly, like the how my eagerly planned life is amazing flapping haphazardly and random in winds of change. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs. I don't care, not want to care...as long as God does, nothing matters. I had foolishly lived for the approval of men. I drive alone, but am amazingly confident of my course. I drive. I'm free. I'm blessed beyond measure. I'm alive. Music blasting. Having experienced the darkness of letting music out of my life, I'm relieved that music is back. I smile what music is doing to me as I cruise. I haven't felt me in a long time. Feels good to remember what I like, what I am like.

I grin. Widely. That God cared enough to give me this perfect moment, to enjoy the magic of flight, the wonders of the skies above and land and seas below, and the perfect playlist on my iPod to bring it all together. My private heaven new locked in my mind for all time.

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I just found out that an ex-classmate's funeral is today. She leaves behind a very distraught father, husband and 4 young children.

Unreal.

She sat next me in class one year but I was never particularly close to her through primary school years. News of her demise shocked me nonetheless. I can only imagine the grief those left behind are facing now. My heart goes out to them.

As I potter through status messages on twitter, myspace and facebook, there's an odd mixture of those who are having the time of their lives like disaster never strikes, interlaced with those grieving the loss of a loved one or blogging their worst fears come alive. What an odd mosaic of love, joy, boredom, pain, fear, grief, loneliness, happiness, sadness, ignorant bliss and biting truth.

Surreal.

With this very sad reminder today, I tell myself that change and trials of every shape and duration are inevitable. That while status quo is a comfortable place to be, the human condition is bred for endurance and the search for lasting peace in changing times. What exactly are we doing with the time we have? What faith or future hope do you cling to when it's your time to confront life changing times? Life is short.

That's Real.

In rememberance of those gone too soon: Ai Choo, Bhenda, Bonnie, Camille and George.